(Ben Sellers, Headline USA) President-elect Donald Trump continued to dazzle his supporters and derange his detractors with his latest round of staff picks, including Brendan Carr to lead the Federal Communications Commission and Sean Duffy for the Department of Transportation.
The selections so far have made a few things clear: Trump’s top priorities are, indeed, loyalty (as many in the mainstream media have derisively observed) and an ability to stir the pot.
Less important is direct field experience, with Trump’s philosophy being that common sense goes hand-in-hand with competence, while an overly specialized area of expertise fosters a more close-minded approach to problem-solving.
The list below includes some selections that may seem sensible and inspired, mixed with others that may seem outlandish—and even comical. Much like the selection criteria Trump has applied, it also gives particular favor to Fox News personalities and other big-name, out-side-the-box choices that would, inevitably, make a splash.
In all likelihood, by time the list hits computer screens, some of these positions will have been filled. Thus, we offer an obligatory disclaimer that the predictions should be taken with a grain of salt, along with the understanding that a Trump presidency is, if nothing else, utterly unpredictable.
- Secretary of Agriculture — George ‘Tyrus’ Murdoch
The main job of this department head, ostensibly, is to go out with a giant “USDA” cattle brand and mark the livestock that are approved for consumption. As a well-known animal husbandrist, Greg Gutfeld’s right-hand man is the perfect person to stamp the nation’s steaks with a flaming hot iron—and the Mandeville, La., transplant has even been known to wear a cowboy hat on occasion. Runner up: Hulk Hogan
- Secretary of Commerce — Eric Trump
The president-elect has said in speeches that his middle child paid his dues during the gap term by becoming the “most subpoenaed person in the country”—a claim that Eric himself repeated on Fox News. With Ivanka and Jared having decided to sit out this presidency, and Barron now coming into adulthood, Eric is no longer the only Trump progeny eligible to keep the family business going. He and his wife, RNC Co-Chair Lara Trump, have thus stepped into the spotlight this time around. However, his background from having run the Trump Organization during his dad’s last leave of absence makes him eminently qualified to oversee the nation’s business affairs. Runner up: PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel
Secretary of Education — Brian Kilmeade
Trump has already said this department is getting cut, so why bother even nominating someone as secretary? Still, if he were to nominate someone, Kilmeade would be the perfect choice. He is the author of eight books, including six that examine significant moments in U.S. history—something that will take pride of place in Trump’s education agenda. But for Fox News’s most underappreciated journeyman host, the prospect of joining his former Fox and Friends colleagues in the West Wing only to have it yanked unceremoniously away would be entirely on brand, providing endless fodder for his network nemesis, Greg Gutfeld. Runners up: Tina Descovich and Tiffany Justice of Moms for Liberty
- Secretary of Housing and Urban Development — Lawrence Jones
The clear frontrunner for this spot previously held by Dr. Ben Carson might have been Rep. Byron Donalds, a rising GOP star who grew up in Brooklyn. But the House cannot afford to lose any more GOP lawmakers if it hopes to retain its majority in the next session. Jones’s upbringing, in Garland, Texas, seems the most remote thing imaginable from the inner city where HUD tends to focus. Yet, he has proven himself to be a powerful ambassador to the common people, sharing stories of America’s forgotten class during his short-lived Cross Country show and subsequent man-on-the-street interviews. Runner up: North Carolina Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson
Trump’s campaign was all about appealing to blue-collar laborers, from working the McDonald’s window to riding in a garbage truck. He even actively courted labor unions by inviting Teamsters boss Sean O’Brien to speak at the Republican Nationan Convention. Although bringing Big Labor into his inner circle might be too big a reach, Rowe knows a thing or two about blue-collar labor from his time hosting Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel. The popular podcaster also has been an outspoken activist in support of the working class. Runner up: Joe Rogan
- Secretary of the Treasury — Dave Ramsey
The Yellen years of unfettered spending and money-minting are gone. To tackle inflation, who better than the personal-budget guru known for guiding people to make difficult choices? Ramsey’s work would mesh nicely with that of Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, who are overseeing the new Department of Government Efficiency. Runner up: Harvard economist Roland Fryer
- Chair of the Council of Economic Advisers — Charles Payne
A star of Fox Business and the occasional infomercial, Payne literally wrote the book on Unstoppable Prosperity. Runner up: ZeroHedge founder Daniel Ivandjiiski
- Director of the Office of Management and Budget — Deroy Murdock
During the Libertarian Party’s national convention, Trump pledged to appoint a libertarian to his administration, then proceeded to read excerpts from Murdock’s article, “The Libertarian Case for Donald Trump.” Although Murdock, a Fox News contributor whose syndicated column runs weekly in Headline USA—debatably is not a libertarian at all, nobody will be the wiser in this role as chief pencil-pusher. His columns often feature in-depth research and statistical analysis, which would be well suited to overseeing the federal budget. Runner up: Maria Bartiromo
- Director of the Office of Science and Technology Policy — Grok
With the world’s leading technological innovator busy eliminating government waste, the next-best thing may be the artificial-intelligence system that Elon Musk has been painstakingly training to counterbalance the one he acrimoniously abandoned after ChatGPT-maker OpenAI opted to go commercial. While putting AI in charge of tech policy carries certain risks, beyond the obvious conflict of interests, it is no less bold a move than putting Matt Gaetz in charge of the Justice Department. Runner up: Marjorie Taylor Greene
- Administrator of the Small Business Administration — Mike Lindell
The MyPillow man built his business from the ground up and remained one of Trump’s most loyal allies throughout his 2020 election ordeal. Runner up: Kanye West
- United States Trade Representative — Peter Navarro
Although he may not have a Fox News connection, the man did prison time for Trump and deserves his due. Navarro is also the person best equipped to implement Trump’s ambitious tariff policy, having previously advised him in a similar role as director of the Office of Trade and Manufacturing Policy. Runner up: Anti-Chinese dissident Miles Guo
- Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation — Judge Jeanine Pirro
Granted, favored pick Kash Patel would do an amazing job also, he may not have the same legal heft as the judge—something that will be desperately needed for the mass retribution campaign following four years under the brutal boot of Biden’s two-tiered justice. Of course, Patel would also be an excellent choice to lead the more secretive NSA, assuming Trump doesn’t want to blow everyone’s mind by repatriating former Obama whistleblower Edward Snowden for the task. Runner up: Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio
- Chairman of the Federal Election Commission — Kari Lake
Lake has been one of the foremost victims of the Left’s war on election integrity. Although she would also have made a fantastic press secretary, Trump’s decision to hand the job to his campain spokesperson, Karoline Leavitt, was equally solid. Still, after having twice been denied office under the shadiest of circumstances, Lake deserves some concession for having remained steadfast to Trump. And nobody deserves more than she does to be put in charge or reforming the broken election system. Runner up: Steve Bannon
- Federal Reserve Chair — Lisa ‘Kennedy’ Montgomery
Like the Education Department, this is an institution that is long overdue for dissolution. The Fed’s main purpose is to allow Congress to sidestep its duty to regulate the currency, which the semi-private bank does at a hefty rate of interest for itself. Like Trump’s other Kennedy nominee—Health and Human Services Secretary-in-Waiting RFK Jr.—this “Kennedy” will effect transformational change from Day 1. Runner up: Ron Paul
- Director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency — Adam Smith
No, not the Enlightenment-era Adam Smith who penned the Wealth of Nations, nor the Democrat congressman on the House Armed Services Committee. This Adam Smith, a retired Green Beret, became the public face of FEMA indignation following the Biden administration’s failed response to Hurricane Helene. He and his “Redneck Air Force” took matters into their own hands, overseeing rescue and relief operations for those stranded in the flood-washed mountains of western Carolina. He even met personally with Trump during a press conference in Swannanoa. Ideally, Smith would co-chair the reformed FEMA with Franklin Graham, the Samaritan’s Purse founder, whose charitable work also had a major impact during the crisis. But Graham, the son of legendary preacher Billy Graham, may value his missionary work too much to enter into the civil service. Runner up: controversial “garbage” comedian Tony Hinchcliffe
- Director of the Secret Service — Dan Bongino
The former Fox News host previously served in the Secret Service and was one of the earliest media analysts to question whether the agency had somehow failed on a fundamental level in allowing the near-miss July 13 assassination attempt on Trump during a Butler, Pa., rally. Bongino has the grit needed to restore accountability to the agency, which has been particularly afflicted by DEI initiatives. Runner up: Kid Rock
- Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff — Trey Yingst
Fox News has several retired generals who would do this job well, but in the spirit of appointing outsider Pete Hegseth to the Pentagon, it fits to have the network’s top conflict-zone reporter calling the military shots. Considering Trump’s “peace through strength” foreign policy, overseeing the military might be a welcome, stress-free respite for the Black Sunday author, who has been forced to pull double duty reporting from both Ukraine and the Middle East during the Biden administration. Runner up: Mike Flynn
- Director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention — Ben Carson
No “brain trust” would be complete without the world’s leading neurosurgeon. The fact that Carson’s scientific acumen may have been underutilized in his HUD role during Trump’s first term is a shame, and while Health and Human Services may be the most logical place for him, Trump’s decision to put Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in the top spot leaves limited options. Carson’s strong pro-life stance should balance RFK Jr.’s support for abortion— although with the issue now being handled at the state level, there should be no need for either one to wade into that political briar patch. Runner up: Haliey “Hawk Tuah” Welch
- Director of the National Institutes of Health — Janice Dean
As Fox’s leading weatherperson, Dean possesses a scientific mind. She also has an ax to grind after then-New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo killed her in-laws by forcing them to cohabitate in a COVID-friendly nursing facility. Dean as director of the agency that funded the illicit Wuhan research in the first place only makes sense. She will see to it that those funds never again get misappropriated. Runner up: Rand Paul
- Director of the Federal Aviation Administration — Rachel Campos–Duffy
Where one Duffy goes, the other is not far behind. With her hubby leading the Transportation Department, Campos–Duffy is bound to have a major support role. The former MTV star undoubtedly logged many sky-miles traveling to promote The Real World, as well as commuting between her Wisconsin home and the set of Fox and Friends in New York. Runner up: Will Cain
Ben Sellers is the editor of Headline USA. Follow him at x.com/realbensellers.
