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NY Times Publishes Snowflake Coping Guide for Midterms

‘This is embarrassing...’

(Dmytro “Henry” Aleksandrov, Headline USA) Bracing for a midterm that might destroy Democrat hopes and rebuke their best efforts to buy votes, the New York Times wasn’t taking chances and published a guide for blue snowflakes on how to deal with a potential red wave.

In a tweet, the American Komsomolskaya Pravda provided five tips on how “to soothe election stress, according to the Daily Wire.

The first one was about breathing by using your fingers.

“Try five-finger breathing. Trace the outside of your hand with your pointer finger. When you trace up, breathe in and when you trace down, breathe out.”

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The second tip advised to “Cool down. Plunge your face into a bowl with ice water for 15 to 30 seconds,” while the third tip suggested a walk around the block.

“Move. Even a walk around the block can offer some relief for an uneasy mind.”

The fourth one was the most confusing.

“Breathe like a baby. Focus on expanding your belly as you breathe, which can send more oxygen to the brain.”

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The last suggestion was to not scroll Twitter feeds like a maniac.

“Limit your scrolling. Consider plotting out specific times when you will look for election updates.”

People on Twitter roasted and mocked the propagandist paper’s self-help guide.

Political commentator Mike Cernovich responded, too.

“See? They know. It’s bad,” tweeted political commentator Mike Cernovich. “NYT knows it’s time to accept defeat. God help them if they try to cheat. It will be so obvious.”

“Could you imagine conservative media talking to their readers this way,” cracked New York Post reporter Jon Levine.

On a similar note, RealClearInvestigations senior writer Mark Hemingway quipped, “Well, you can’t say the NYT doesn’t know its subscriber base…”

Journalist Ben Dreyfuss suggested that if anyone needed a guide like the Times offered, they might have bigger mental problems.

“If you’re plunging your face into a bowl of ice water because of the NYT election needle, I think you might want to talk to somebody,” he tweeted.

Radio host Gerry Callahan also mocked the Times for releasing its guide even before the closing of the polls.

“The polls haven’t closed yet and we’ve already reached the ‘plunge your face in ice water’ and ‘breathe like a baby’ stages of grief for the mainstream media.”

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