Saturday, June 3, 2023
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Here Come the Locusts: Biden Attacked by Cicada En Route to Putin Meeting

'Omg it's back and it's huge...'

President Joe Biden may have been hoping for good omens prior to his first major trip abroad as president, a European venture that includes a June 16 summit in Geneva with Russian president Vladimir Putin.

Instead, he got a plague of locusts—sort of.

Twitter was “abuzz” with CNN footage of Biden appearing to be attacked by a cicada—often confused with the grasshopper-like insects of Biblical fame, although etymological nit-pickers note that the two are, in fact, entirely different species.

Watch out for the cicadas … one just got me,” Biden said before boarding Air Force One on Tuesday.

Because their subterranean incubation cycles can span up to 17 years, the rarity of cicadas has led some scholars to argue that they were a likely contender for the Old Testament scourge, a harbinger of the deadly wrath that was divinely heaped upon Egypt for oppressing God’s chosen people in the Book of Exodus.

Brood X, the current crop of cicada nymphs emerging across parts of the Eastern US, was last heard from around 2004.

Yet, the religious implications may be hard to ignore, with some already suggesting that the end times are upon us.

Biden’s trip comes amid renewed tensions in the Jewish holy land. Although the president took a more detached approach following several days of Iran-backed Hamas rockets being launched at Israel, many pro-Palestinian Democrats vocally turned against the longtime US ally.

Compounding those concerns, a leftist Israeli alliance announced last week that it would form a coalition government to oust conservative Likud leader Benjamin Netanyahu, who has been prime minister since 2009.

Netanyahu maintains that he, like former US president Donald Trump, fell victim to widespread vote fraud, the New York Times reported.

In addition to Israel’s woes, the stakes are particularly high for America, desperately needing to maintain its global standing as the world emerges from the coronavirus pandemic, which reports increasingly indicate may have been the result of Chinese research into biological warfare.

And Biden’s strange diplomatic combo of saber-rattling and capitulation to Russia has renewed tensions with the Cold War adversary after four years of relative stability under Trump.

During past exchanges with Putin, the ex-KGB chief has appeared to humiliate the blustering Biden—starting with a 2011 meeting and including a bizarre war of words earlier this year that invoked none other than Pee Wee Herman.

Yet, next week’s summit also comes amid revelations that Biden accepted kickbacks from a Russian lobbyist prior to green-lighting the country’s Nord Stream 2 pipeline, a violation of his own ethics decrees.

As Biden undermines America’s energy independence, instability in the supply chain could have profound, far-reaching effects in other areas—driving up grocery bills and potentially leading to a sort of modern-day famine like those foretold by the Bible’s Book of Revelation.

One small consolation for true believers, however, may be that the recent insect attack isn’t Biden’s first time getting swarmed.

A bug landed on his shoulder last September, during a campaign speech on climate change, prompting Biden to comment, “Speaking of the environment…”

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