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Addled President Brandon Yells at Media as Dems Vote-Stealing Scheme Crumbles

'Count the vote! Count the vote! It’s about election subversion! ... '

(Mark Pellin, Headline USAIn the course of less than a week, the Biden administration has been swamped by a tsunami of defeats and humiliations, from Biden’s approval rating cratering to 33% and inflation soaring to its highest level in 40 years, to the producer price index shooting to a record high and his dictatorial vaccine mandate going up in flames.

By the time Biden learned that his renewed filibuster fervor had been thoroughly iced and his lust for a leftist takeover of elections sacked, he was engulfed in a brain fog of misery.

An angry, addled and visibly deranged old man yelled and hollered at somebody he mistook for his wingman as he, unmasked, shouted platitudes, sputtered incoherencies and howled out his best impression of Old Joe Stalin demanding to count the votes.

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“You all ask questions about complicated subjects like ‘can you get this done,’” Biden mumbled to reporters after emerging from a meeting with Senate Democrats and learning that Sens. Kyrsten Sinema and Joe Manchin refused to nuke the filibuster, killing a leftist insurrection to federalize elections under the guise of ‘voting rights’

This is especially bad news for radical leftists because they know the only way for them to win elections with their toxic message of divisive cultural demagoguery, woke Marxist orthodoxy and limousine liberal privilege, is for them to steal those elections.

“I hope we can get this done,” Biden croaked. “The honest-to-God answer is I don’t know whether we can get this done.

“Is this mic on? I guess — anyway — I’m not sure — anyway, I hope we can get this done, but I’m not sure,” stumbled Biden, who then seemed to snap with a jolt of time-delayed adrenaline.

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“But one thing for certain, one thing for certain, like every other major Civil Rights bill that came along,” Biden hummed, “if we miss the first time, we can come back and try the second time. We missed this time. We missed this time.”

Wallowing in that reality, Biden broke into a disconcerted rant about counting his votes and that if there was any vote stealing to be done, he’d be doing it.

“The state legislative bodies continue to change the law, not as to who can vote, but who gets to count the vote,” Biden barked. “Count the vote! Count the vote! It’s about election subversion! Not just whether or not people get to vote!

“Who counts the vote!” he reiterated, or more likely forgot he demanded it a second ago. “That’s what this is about, that’s what makes this so different than anything else we’ve ever done.”

The adrenaline withdrawal taking hold, Biden struck a reflective tone, or possibly he was just struck dazed and confused.

“I don’t know that we can get it done, but I know one thing,” Biden hacked. “As long as I have a breath in me, as long as I’m in the White House, as long as I’m engaged at all, I’m going to be fighting to change the way these legislatures have moving —, thank you.”

And then he limped away.

 

 

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