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Friday, May 24, 2024

Broadway Staff Finds Mystery Turds in Aisle Near Hillary Clinton’s Seat

'A contribution to the Clinton foundation... '

(Headline USA) Hillary Clinton and her daughter, Chelsea Clinton, attended a recent Broadway performance of Some Like It Hot last week only to discover that someone left “two human turds” right next to them, according to reports.

“The house crew dealt with it very appropriately and quickly, and Hillary and Chelsea remained in the theater for the second act,” a source told Page Six of the debacle.

According to the house manager of the theater, this isn’t the first time human feces has been found in the aisleways. This was “actually the fourth time it had happened,” the manager reportedly said.

“There is someone who is either s***ting in the aisle, or surreptitiously dumping defecation that they smuggled into the theater,” said the source.

However, a second source disputed that this has been a repeat offense.

 “It was an elderly person and it’s rather sad, but yes, the house staff worked quickly to help resolve the situation and Act II started as scheduled,” another source explained.

Twitter was quick to make light of the mishap.

“Can anyone provide a convincing alibi for Amber Heard?” wrote one user, referring to last year’s defamation trial featuring Heard and Johnny Depp, who accused the former of deliberately defecating in his bed.

“And it improved the smell of the area,” another user joked.

Another user wrote: “A contribution to the Clinton foundation.”

Conservative commentator Matt Walsh joked that the offender was President Joe Biden:

Conservative writer Jim Treacher said the Clintons should take it as a compliment:

 

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